pouët.net

What happened from my side of View:

category: residue [glöplog]
So way I see it Hardy, your side of the story that's is absolutely damning of you. And seems like the reality of the case is even way more damning. How about just go away from the community, this kind of behaviour isn't welcome.
added on the 2021-07-05 15:47:18 by branch branch
hardy: you fucked up then, and now again.

- stop digging, don't try to fix the unfixable

- read and listen to the people giving you valuable information here. understand HOW fucked up even the most charitable interpretation of your own account must have made the people you hurt feel, and how this post must have opened those wounds again.

- accept that, admit responsibility, find sincere remorse within yourself and act from that.

- take concrete steps to CHANGE. that will probably involve getting professional help dealing with your issues. that won't be easy, and you might need to get dry again before starting therapy (since it tends to bring up strong emotions active addicts all ill-prepared to healthily cope with). bring a printout of this post.

even then though, nobody owes you forgiveness once you start doing the right things (and you haven't, yet!)

accept that it might not happen.
added on the 2021-07-05 15:54:36 by wayfinder wayfinder
a few words were swallowed by an edit there, it was supposed to say:

*understand HOW fucked up even the most charitable interpretation of your own account is and how it must have made the people you hurt feel,
added on the 2021-07-05 16:01:14 by wayfinder wayfinder
hardy: The problem wasn't that you couldn't finish the "joke", the problem here was that you should never start any "joke" that involves sexual harassment when you can't be sure people will not be offended by it, in a circle of 3-4 friends who you know to be ok with that humour it could maybe be funny, but when you start _targetting people who did not give you consent to be the recipient of those types of "jokes"_ it's not ok and it's not on everyone else who witnessed it to know you better, it's on you to not do awkward sexual harassment jokes.

If you can't handle alcohol you need to stop drinking it, get AA to help you through that. You also need to tell your "friend" who insisted on you drinking with him that it's not ok to social pressure you into drinking when you're trying not to.

We don't want to cancel you (atleast i don't), but we do want you to apologize for your mistakes and work in improving yourself to ensure these kind of things do not happen again in the future.
added on the 2021-07-05 16:32:49 by psenough psenough
If I were a woman I would feel flattered if hardy approached me.
added on the 2021-07-05 17:50:23 by Adok Adok
Quote:
If I were a woman I would feel flattered if hardy approached me.


I HAVE NEVER WISHED FOR SOMEONE TO EXPERIENCE THE HARRASSMENT OR SUFFERING OF OTHERS, BUT HOLY FUCKING SHIT YOU'RE MAKING ME DOUBT MY MORALS. DON'T PROJECT YOUR OWN KINKS ON OTHERS, I DON'T CARE IF YOU LIKE TO BE SUBMISSIVE AND BE TREATED LIKE TRASH WAY BUT YOU SHOULDN'T MAKE IT A STANDARD TO UPHOLD ON OTHERS.
added on the 2021-07-05 17:58:49 by Klandox Klandox
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added on the 2021-07-05 18:31:27 by w00t! w00t!
Quote:
SHE TOLD YOU TO STOP! MULTIPLE FUCKING TIMES! How is that not a massive fucking red light that things are going awry?


Case closed.
added on the 2021-07-05 18:47:06 by w00t! w00t!
Yeah, not much more to add than what others have said already. I know you, and wish i could say 'ah, yeah, you fucked up a joke on a medium were setups are hard haha' but your whole post made feel disgusted. I'm sorry man, massive, massive fuck up and absolutely no intention to self-reflect.

You're 43, not 15, act your age.
added on the 2021-07-05 19:03:43 by okkie okkie
Oh my. Oh well.
added on the 2021-07-05 19:24:42 by leGend leGend
@hardy, I read the chat backlog after I heard about your ban, and I read your "explanation" here. Dunno which to find more disgusting. Probably the latter. You are behaving like an infantile asshole. Only Adok wants to be approached by you. Nuff said.
added on the 2021-07-05 21:52:26 by Sir Sir
I miss the 90s with music like NIN - Closer.

What kind of toxic drama queens. The complete unicorn fraction in tha house.
Get a life.
added on the 2021-07-06 00:54:35 by Deleted Deleted
do you realize that being "tolerant" and "inclusive" also means accepting opinions which do not reflect your own?

hardy didnt exactly make a smart move here, but can we stop the witchhunt?
kthxbye.
added on the 2021-07-06 01:46:30 by wysiwtf wysiwtf
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And this isn't even everything, and it doesn't stop this is just the most recent example.
added on the 2021-07-06 02:57:37 by Klandox Klandox
Harassment towards individuals is not an opinion. And a shitty person getting at least some consequences for his shitty actions towards people is a witchhunt? No.
added on the 2021-07-06 07:50:09 by Preacher Preacher
Quote:
do you realize that being "tolerant" and "inclusive" also means accepting opinions which do not reflect your own?

hardy didnt exactly make a smart move here, but can we stop the witchhunt?
kthxbye.

It's posts like this that make me both boil with rage and shudder about the future of humanity.

In case you missed it, the "witch" in question opened this thread and laid the case out themselves explicitly asking for a reaction - what you're seeing is that reaction.
added on the 2021-07-06 09:38:59 by Gargaj Gargaj
The change wont happen immediately anyway, so calm down.
added on the 2021-07-06 09:39:52 by leGend leGend
What change?
added on the 2021-07-06 09:45:41 by Gargaj Gargaj
No
added on the 2021-07-06 09:46:17 by okkie okkie
Quote:
do you realize that being "tolerant" and "inclusive" also means accepting opinions which do not reflect your own?

hardy didnt exactly make a smart move here, but can we stop the witchhunt?
kthxbye.
Earlier I tried to refrain myself from commenting in this thread, but, fuck it, we're in the same group.

Do you really want to let a demonstrably (see thread) repeat (also see thread) sexual harasser (sometimes also physically, see thread) stay in places where he'll keep on hurting people? In this case, a ban from physical parties is the good thing to do because there is no other practical way to guarantee the safety of his victims, and there is no guarantee he'll not do it again as he has shown 1) little to no remorse (only about pushback when it happened, not about the bad stuff itself), and 2) absolutely no commitment at not doing it again.

Sure, if you're not involved, just silencing this discussion is the easy thing to do because not having this discussion makes it feel like things are alright (as all the problems are being made invisible), but this helps exactly nobody. Except for bad people who can continue carrying out bad stuff.
added on the 2021-07-06 10:22:59 by porocyon porocyon
Quote:
do you realize that being "tolerant" and "inclusive" also means accepting opinions which do not reflect your own?

hardy didnt exactly make a smart move here, but can we stop the witchhunt?

Firstly, some of this is about facts. Klandox's post with the actual chatlog contradicts the narrative that Hardy tries to set up in his original post, which is a much needed correction for people not familiar with the original incident on Discord during Revision.

Secondly, with the exception of a couple of posts, the replies here have been as civil as you could expect given the premise of the thread. You'll even see a couple posts with what I view as compassionate advise to help Hardy without damning him as a human being, but also in no way making excuses for what he did.

I'd say that given the standard of discourse usually provided here this has been surprisingly constructive and rational.
added on the 2021-07-06 13:48:13 by lug00ber lug00ber
My few cents about this, put as diplomatic as i am able to:

No, I don't think it's a witch hunt. I clearly see the massive misbehaviour here. If someone tells you to stop, then stop. It's not about anyone else than the target to decide if they feel harassed. Intention doesn't matter, the result counts. And they clearly communicated it. I think that's been said enough here (and elsewhere).

Alcohol intoxication is not an excuse. Tho, abusive alcohol consumption is a personal health problem that's hard to tackle. Someone who talks you into drinking, being aware of it or not, is not a friend but acting selfish and as hard as it sounds: It's good to stay away from people like that with the same energy you avoid alcohol consumption. The effect is the same.

Having a family member who was dealing with abusive alcohol consumption makes it really hard for me to decide the "you decided to drink alcohol" question as a personal decision here tho. I'll not expand this topic here.

Side note: I trust the summary of the chatlog screenshots Klandox posted, no question. But: This topic is too important; people who were not present in the chat shouldn't build their impression on a summary but read the full chat log. The outcome is probably the same. It's just for maintaining your own expectation of transparency.

[A lot more stuff I'd like to write but i am restraining myself from that now]

Butter bei die Fische:

Hardy, ffs, please jump over your own shadow and show that you are working on fixing this problem. The way you are trying to excuse this particular situation leaves me under the impression that you have already understood the problem. But it's not time for an excuse, it's time for an honest apology and showing that you are actually working on this, from my perspective and as you can see also from other people's view, extremely problematic behaviour. Please.
Honestly, I don't want you banned but the situation gives me no other choice under the current circumstances than to also justify a ban as i would if it was any other person. I can't justify such behaviour in any way and, personally, that makes me feel terrible. I'd undoubtedly miss you at parties. I value and like you for a lot of other things you do and you are. This is clearly not one of them. It's a small part. But a small part with a huge toxic impact towards others and also towards yourself that destroys and overshadows all the good things.
Please get rid of it, I don't want to lose and miss you at parties! Please!
added on the 2021-07-06 16:09:21 by RbR RbR
ok, i think i need to clarify:
this was harrasment and the ban for hardy was more than deserved. but you can see from his post that here is a human with serious problems in his life and bashing him for it is not going to fix anything but make problems worse. of course he brought it on himself and should have just apologized for being an ass or stfu completely.

if you want a split scene, go ahead. remove or mob all the people who do not share the same values as you do, clean up the dirt and be a happy and modern community in the future. lol.
i already heard of several people who decided to delete their scene.id account now (if this is even possible).

just stop bashing people. no matter the cause.
added on the 2021-07-06 18:23:37 by wysiwtf wysiwtf
What kind of "value" are you talking about?
added on the 2021-07-06 18:26:54 by Gargaj Gargaj
and yes, there have also been rational replies. i dont want to generalize everybody.
added on the 2021-07-06 18:28:10 by wysiwtf wysiwtf

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