pouët.net

the love doctor is in!

category: general [glöplog]
live from the Internet Café of Luv... it's Dr. Optimus!


greetings fellow romance starved sceners.

is your love-life none existant?

can't get that special someone to reply to your constant emails?

tired of being arrested when stalking scene girls?

fear no more: the love doctor is in the house!

post your romance question right here on pouét.net's big time forum of sensuality, and I, Dr. Optimus, will answer all.


yes, you too can learn how to get scene girls quaking at the unreal size of your joystick.

ask away, love-torn glöppers!!
Get laid!
added on the 2003-06-18 09:26:35 by Optimus Optimus
Ugh :(
added on the 2003-06-18 09:44:36 by Ugh! Ugh!
Haha. :)
added on the 2003-06-18 11:16:37 by tomaes tomaes
I bet it's lompas!
added on the 2003-06-18 11:24:43 by Optimus Optimus
hahaha ;)
added on the 2003-06-18 11:27:19 by fgfgf fgfgf
why don't girls like programmers ? :(
they always run away when i say i spend all my day in front of a computer ?? :((

what should i do, Dr. Optimus?
added on the 2003-06-18 11:45:31 by jar jar
wow... this rocks! =)
added on the 2003-06-18 11:54:45 by raymon raymon
jar: The answer would be interesting for me too :)
Let's hear what Dr.Optimus has to say..
added on the 2003-06-18 11:57:53 by Optimus Optimus
dr optimus, you just made my day. haha...
added on the 2003-06-18 12:35:01 by _ _
i think Optimus himself needs some therapy... terrorizing pouet.net 24/7 with useless crap and stuff is NOT normal behaviour! :D

besides, watch dr. Phil...
added on the 2003-06-18 14:40:14 by Maali Maali
jar: girls *do* like programmers. however, scientific studies prove that women also prefer men who are evenly developed. (scientific proof)

upon revealing your enthusiasm for computers, you also reveal an extremely well developed muscular right arm, but a weedy and weak left arm. (or vice versa if you are left-handed.)

first, try alternating between both arms when exercising your virtual love life.

second, once the first step has been accomplished, explain to women you are an *ambidextrous* computer user. this will immediately result in the tearing off of your commodore t-shirt and the subsequent molestation of your bulging, yet symmetrical, self-love muscles.

i hope this helps!
Dr. Optimus:
How will 33 die? I'm very concerned.
added on the 2003-06-18 21:36:25 by halyCON halyCON
I'd like to know the definition of a girl really.....
added on the 2003-06-18 22:07:14 by Marisa Marisa
hm, girls do like programmers?

my gf is a programmer!
added on the 2003-06-18 23:31:51 by dubmood dubmood
dubmood: Did you find that property good or bad?
I for once wondered why I ever bet on loving scene girls. But let's better hear Dr.Optimus opinion about that..
added on the 2003-06-18 23:35:20 by Optimus Optimus
property is theft
added on the 2003-06-19 00:04:00 by dalezr dalezr
property, properties, whatever
added on the 2003-06-19 00:06:50 by Optimus Optimus
halyCON: lord only knows how Monsieur Trois will die, but let's all hope it's sooner rather than later!
Marisa: defining a girl in today's society is very difficult. things were much simpler fifty or so years ago -- girls had long hair, boys had short hair.

unfortunately, the hippie generation rendered the above definition useless and a new theory arose -- girls had boobies, boys did not.

the advent of home video games gave rise to inactivity amongst males, and soon man-boobs became all too commonplace. so much for the boobie theory.

then came the genital test -- pull down the pants and take a good look. however, even this seemingly fool proof method was tainted by steroid injesting "female" bodybuilders and so-called shemales.

today we know the only way to define someone as a girl is by the jeans she wears. all women wear XX designer jeans, and men wear the cheaper XY competing brand. quite simple.

note: other brands, such as XXY, are cheap Hong Kong imitations and should be avoided at all costs.
dubmood: your girlfriend is most likely bi-sexual. this can be a positive and/or negative. cross your fingers!
Optimus: firstly, I like your name. it has a certain familiar ring to it!

now, in regards to your constant lusting for scene girls...

perhaps you find them attractive due to your obsession with the scene itself.

or perhaps you are allured by the mythical nature of female sceners: they do exist, but only in very small quantities.

or maybe, just maybe, you wish scene girls were as easy to obtain as the latest demo productions: just download, play for a few minutes, then get another. unfortunately, meeting girls in real life isn't as simple as collecting photos on a web page.
>meeting girls in real life isn't as simple as collecting >photos on a web page
ok . . . u haven't seen "real" man @ work ;)
added on the 2003-06-19 11:16:09 by freed_ohm freed_ohm
I love Dr.Optimus. He gave possible answer to all my questions! :)
added on the 2003-06-19 11:40:19 by Optimus Optimus
Dr. Optimus isn't by chance related to Dr. Octopus, inventor of the twin shaft penis pump??
added on the 2003-06-19 12:11:10 by psonice psonice

login