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english native speaker needed! (only few lines)

category: general [glöplog]
 
For the presentation of a project I had to make up a few sheets with english text. I think my english is quite OK, but it is always better to have a native speaker take a look at the text.
So, if you are one, it would be really great if you could read the following few lines and make suggestions if you find anythin wrong or odd...

Thanks!

----------------------------------------
SUMMER SEMESTER 2008
The course „Interaction Design Development“ was held by Jens Franke with six students at the HAWK University of Applied Sciences and Arts in Hildesheim, Germany.

TASKS
-Think of natural ways to interact with a computer
-Implement it in an application using Action Script 3.0

CONCEPT
A game inspired by the iPhone-app TapTap Revolution: simply catch approaching objects at the right time.
Our game JUMPCRAFT would be entirely controlled by the movements of the user.


PHYSICAL USER INPUT
-consists of three states: stance left / mid / right
-an Arduino-controlled Ultrasonic Range Finder measures the distance to the player and the data is interpreted by the game

(caption:) the board gains data from the sensor and transfers it to the computer

----------------------------------------
added on the 2008-08-19 07:52:34 by maw maw
Did that semester took place or is it planned to take place?

If it hasn't happened yet changed the "was held" to "is about to be held".

Good luck.

DISCLAIMER: I am not an English native speaker.
Just some minor changes. Not quite sure of the best way to briefly describe the stances, though.
---------------------

SUMMER SEMESTER 2008
The "Interaction Design Development" course was held by Jens Franke with six students at the HAWK University of Applied Sciences and Arts in Hildesheim, Germany.

TASKS
-Think of natural ways to interact with a computer
-Implement them in an application using Action Script 3.0

CONCEPT
A game inspired by the iPhone-app "TapTap Revolution", in which you catch approaching objects by moving into their path.
Our game JUMPCRAFT would be entirely controlled by the movements of the user.


PHYSICAL USER INPUT
-Consists of three states: left stance / centre / right
-An Arduino-controlled Ultrasonic Range Finder measures the distance to the player and the data is interpreted by the game

(caption:) The board collects data from the sensor and transfers it to the computer.
added on the 2008-08-19 08:59:34 by xeron xeron
Wow uni-english. So many correct spelled words, so horribly unreadable.
added on the 2008-08-19 12:16:33 by Hatikvah Hatikvah
oldspookishmagus & xeron: thanksalot
stefan: any suggestions?
added on the 2008-08-19 12:46:46 by maw maw
@stefan
I understood it OK. Its clearly just meant to be some bullet points instead of a full essay or so.
added on the 2008-08-19 12:57:02 by xeron xeron
yes, its just some bullet points for a video-presentation
added on the 2008-08-19 13:20:26 by maw maw
target audience?
(Age, corporate level, overall interest in being in the room with the presentation)

(Bullet points are not English. They are marketing.)
scenerhub: EVERYONE!
...it's actually a video presentation that will be uploaded to youtube, vimeo etc. The target audience is everyone who is interested in things like "physical computing". So actually, I guess its mostly men from 18 to 35...
added on the 2008-08-19 17:29:58 by maw maw
wow youtube? get ready to receive comments such as:
"lol roflmaocopter sux...." even if you do rule
added on the 2008-08-19 19:18:31 by decipher decipher
Perfect English is boring. German demoenglish is much more rulzor...

SUMMERSEMESTER 2008
The cuz "Interactiondesigndevelopment“ were bye Jens Franke with 6 student's on HAWK University of Applied Sciences and Arts in Hildesheim, Germany held, since 3 week's.

TASK'S
-Think of natural ways with an maschine to interact
-Implement's it in a application using Action Script 3.0

----------------------------------------
CONZEPT
A game inspired by the iPhone-app TapTap Revolution: simply approaching object's at the right time catch.
Our game JUMPCRAFT would be entirely by the movements of the user controlled.

PHYSICAL USERINPUT
-of 3 state's: stance left / mid / right consisting.
-a Arduinocontrolled Ultrasonic Range Finder the distance to the player measures and than the data is by the game interpreted.

(caption:) the board data from the sensor gain's and it to the maschine transfer's.
----------------------------------------
added on the 2008-08-19 20:21:28 by cruzer cruzer
TEH SOMMER SEMESTER 2008
************************
CUZ "InterakktionDesignDevelopment" was from Jens Fanke with 6 students upon HAWK university of Applied Scences and Arts in Hildesheim, holdt since 3 weeks ago.

TASKS
====
-Think natural, ways with machine to interacting
-Impl. It in an applications with Action Script 3.0 help.

*******
CONCEPT
One game with inspiration from iPhone TapTap application revolution: its simple approching objects at the right time catching.
OUR game JUMPCRAFT will be entirely moved by user controling.

PHYSICAL USERINPUT
-tree state: stance elft / centered /right consistent.
-an ARduinocontrolled Ultrasonic Range Finde distances to players measured and then the the data is game interpreted!

(caption::) TEH board data from sensors gain and it transfers the machines.
***********************************************************
added on the 2008-08-19 20:31:33 by neoneye neoneye
hahaha :D
translating it to german and back gives this:

SUMMER SEMESTER 2008
was held those for course „interaction Design development „of the sciences and the arts in Hildesheim, Germany, applied by Jens Franke with six class participants by the FALCON university.

TASKS
- you think of natural ways for affecting a computer
- introduce it to an application with activity index 3,0
the play
of the CONCEPT A, which is spurred by the IPhoneaPP TAP TAP revolution: get caught simply approaching articles in due time.
Our play JUMPCRAFT was steered completely by the movements of the user.
The PHYSICAL ENTERED USER
- consists of three conditions: Position left/intermediaries/quite
- mass one Arduino controlled ultrasonic rangefinder the distance to the player and to the data interpreted by the play
(sub-title:) the board wins data of the sensor and brings it on the computer

JUMPCRAFT is an excellent name for a german jumpstyle group!
added on the 2008-08-19 20:47:06 by Maali Maali
ok so you need it even MORE dumbed down than marketing - I just can't bring myself to massacre any form of language that much.

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