Plop by Digi Tallis [web]
The instructions to PLOP and all things angular.
(Or not as the case may often be)
If you want to get on with it and not read the novella then look for where
it says 'Oi read here', but please read the novella, its only manners to
do so.
Dan Da Da .. And on with the story, are we sitting?
Wizard Debblypharq was in deep trouble. He had lost his staff. And
the staff wasn't even his own, and he also knew why he had lost the staff,
and that made matters even worse. As a wizard he had been given the task
of looking after the Grand Wizards staff for the day, sort of a bonus if
one managed to cast four advanced class spells without losing ones
eyebrow.
The Grand Wizard was not amused.
'You've done what?!?'
'Sorry Sir, I seem to have, er... mislaid your staff..'
'You've done what?!?'
'Er.. I seem to have forgotten where I placed your staff last, Sir..'
'Yes, yes, I heard you the first time. Dismissed.'
Debblypharq The Third bowed his head and sloped out of the office
(Such a good word sloped, you can slope one way and you can slope the
next...)
'Well thats me out of the school for sure'
'USE CORRECT ENGLISH DEBBLYPHARP', boomed the grand wizards voice after
him.
'Its Debblypharq'
'YES, YES, WHATEVER, NOW GO AND LEAVE ME IN PEACE.'
Meanwhile, the Grand Wizards staff was not pleased, in fact it was
not pleased at all. It didn't like its current surroundings and it
certainly didn't like whatever was picking it up. One of the main rules of
staff ownership (Rules can be found in the publication 'How to hold your
staff and use it, by Arthur Von Staaghime', which is published by a small
backwater publisher who has just discovered the neat idea of printing, who
goes by the name of 'Printemagainandagain', but that is by the way,
neither here nor there) is that hands must be clean and a good firm grasp
of your staff must be obtained quickly. The hand that was currently
holding the staff was not clean, and it must have been one of the weakest
grips ever the history of 'Look, nay, swoon at the strength of that grip'
(A contest run by a few bars in the town where Drebblypharq was being
schooled, usually won by the fat, sweaty, remarkably strong dwarf who
appeared every year without fail, just so he could practice his smile.)
'Oooh, does baby like the nice stick?'
'Googy woogy baba'
'Does baby-waby want the nice stick?'
'Googy woogy woogy baba!'
'Oh hell', thought the staff. (Staffs do have brains, its just that the
brains aren't actually in the staff, but in a jar surrounded by pickle
hidden away in the basement of the oldest section of the 'School of Magic
(And of all things that seem simple until you try them)' (Generally know
to the public as 'That strange forboding place where strange lights and
loud bangs are heard well into the night, and where the men have no
eyebrows and look decidedly mad when they visit the town for essential
magic supplies, and where the less said about women the better. (Which can
be obtained behind the pub for a small fee)', or 'The Wizards Guild' for
short))
Baby's keeper, the rather dumb (But in a cute sort of way) was the
daughter of Master Firmore (Who owned a fine wood yard, which
unfortunatley burned to the ground in rather a freak accident on a very
rainy day). Andreanna (For that was the maidens name) was looking after
her second cousin romoved from the family's (Removed forcibly by arrest)
only child. The childs name was Ugly-bugger (The cousin was so dim witted
she called the child after the first thing that crossed her mind after
seeing the infant)
Ugly-bugger seemed to like the staff. It had nice shapes and
patterns, and best of all, if you shook it, it made rather a pleasing
sound. And, as an added extra, it tasted rather good too. Especially round
the top, were the silver and gold had a rather nice rusty taste.
The staff was clearly in trouble.
'No, baby mustn't put the nice stick into the doggy doo's, it makes the
stick smell yucky...No baby. You mustn't do that..'
Too late. The stick was up to his knots in 'doggy doos' and was not liking
this experiance at all. It started to whimper.
Back in Forhamenlaket, Drebblypharq was wondering what he should
be doing, when he bumped into Farmer Fayraqe.
'Hullo there son. Whats up with you, you look a little down in trousers'
(The phrase 'Down in the mouth' was in insult in Forhamenlaket, but was a
compliement in Forhamenlakets twin sister town Lakeft, but the phrase the
farmer used was generally regarded as O.K. Providing you were not from the
remote village Highuponahill, which was lost in the fog and mist that all
good mountains seem to produce. Any phrase other than 'You reek of my
goats infection swelling bladder after it has laid on a bed of rats
corpses and animal dung for three weeks without moving' was considered as
an insult. The townsfolk are regarded as some of the friendliest people on
the planet, but only by people who have never actually visited
Highuponahill.)
'Oh nothing much Farmer, I might get expelled from my studies, thats
all...'
'Thats all? I've never heard of a wizard that wuz expelled from the school
afore. My lad, you'll go down in tense!' (The word history didn't exist.
'Tense' means history. The people of Forhamenlaket haven't really got the
hang of literacy yet. Give them a few more millenia and things will be
fine)
'Oh great, I don't want the attention.'
'Lad, are you feeling allright? Everybody loves attention, look at the
fool over there.'
The fool in question was in fact The Town Fool, a job given to him
personally by The Town Mayor, basically it ensued him being a fool,
something at which he had got perfect. Every town has its Fool and every
four years, on the night of a half bloated moon, all the Fools gather at a
secret location to discuss new Fool tactics. The location is so secret
however that only once have more than three Fools been at the same
location within one week of another.
But as Fools go, Forhamenlaket's Fool wasn't at all bad. He had recently
perfected a new trick, much to the delight of a large crowd of people that
had gathered to watch. (Half of which were pick-pockets, picking the
pockets of other pick-pockets who had just picked their pockets. Being a
pick-pocket was certainly a job for the clever and educated). The Fools
latest trick was to shout into the sky, shake his fist, shake his head and
then dribble spittle onto the floor whilst uttering a few grunts and
groans for good measure.
The crowd were loving it.
'See lad, even the Fool loves the attention, now why should you be the
exception?'
'I only want to learn magic, thats all I ask. Well, apart from the love of
a good woman, a jar of ale and all the free meals I can eat at the local
'Foodifyousquint' tavern. Is that too much to ask?'
'Well, if its food you want, lets go to 'The Dog And Other Animal Engaged
In A Rather Strange Act Of Unholy Sex' (Or more commonly know to the
townsfolk as 'The Dog Engaged'). I'll shout you a flagon and a drink of
ale.'
The two figures waddled away down a dark lane (Every lane in Forhamenlaket
was dark, only the odd few around the higher class area of town had
lighting, and that was only because it was were the local 'Junior Arsonist
Club' had their headquarters)
Jeramiah The First And Probably The Last was seriously thinking
about changing his name to something else, and as a consequence was in
Laket's town hall (And Parish Church, but not on Sundays because the Vicar
plays Pluffupthepillows (This game involves thumping the pillows as hard
as you can until you can thump no more, a sport usually played by Vicars
because they aren't allowed to hit anything else)).
Andreanna walked in pushing Ugly-bugger in the wheelbarrow.
'Hello Jeramiah, what are you doing in town?', she giggled. (Andreanna has
always liked Jeramiah, its something to do with the way his pants move
when he walks)
'Oh nothing much, tell me Andreanna, do you like the name 'Stick Von
Hufermiser'? I was thinking of changing my name.'
'I like the Stick bit, but I don't think the Von Hufermiser really fits.'
'Oh'
'Why don't you call yourself Stick?'
'What about a second name?'
'Stick'
'What, call myself Stick Stick?'
'Yes, its lovely', Andreanna purred.
'Then Stick Stick it is!'
The now named Stick Stick liked Andreanna too, but he tried not to show it
(It was something about the way her skirts moved when she walked)
'Oh whoope, can I go home now?', thought the staff who was getting
extremely unhappy at the prospect of being left with the child. (Who liked
shaking the staff around and around its head, flinging 'doggy doos' on
anything that moved within a three mile radius)
'I bid you farewell my dear Andreanna, until we meet again.'
'What did you say that for?'
'Er.. It seemed a good idea. You know, poetic.'
'Oh. O.K. then, until we meet again'
'Er.. Fine.'
Stick Stick suddenly ran out of the room, mounted his awaiting horse,
cried a hearty yell, and flew off into the fast approaching night.
'Oh isn't he lovely?'
Ugly-bugger started to cry.
'Whassamatter baby? Whats making you cry?'
'Googy woogy Sticky wicky wogga'
'Did the nice man take your stick?'
'Googy wug'
'Never mind baby, I'll find you another stick'
'Gooby Wooby Doof' (Which loosely translates as, 'You better Old Hag, I
was getting attached to that rather ornate stick')
Back in 'The Dog Engaged' two figures sat at a table in one of the
nine corners of the bar (Nine was considered to be a very lucky number in
terms of the Public House, and if you had the word 'The' in the title you
were certified a violent fight every three nights (Twice on Tuesdays when
the drunken dominoe team would challenge the rugby players to a game of
Icandrinkyouunderthetableandoutofyourpantsinonemove)
'I can tell you're enjoying yourself', said the Farmer, or rather he
shouted, towards his drinking companion, who was at present watching his
food push itself around the plate.
'Yup, what are these? Burnt Peas?', Debblypharq said as he scooped up
some black roughly circular objects onto his fork.
'Those? Peas? No, they are the chefs special, eat up my lad.'
'Chefs special eh? Whats so special about them?'
'They suprise'
'They're not bad, whats the suprise?'
'The suprise is that they are really large spiders with their legs pulled
off.'
'!'
'Told you it was a suprise! Never mind, here get some ale down you'
'Er.. Can't we leave and get some real food?'
'Sure, where do you want to go?'
'Foodifyousquint.'
'Now hang on. I've got to be back at work in four hours, and my feet are
killing me, so I think it'll be best if I skip going to Foodifyousquint
this time around, maybe next time.'
'Eh?'
'See you later lad.'
'Er..'
'Bye.'
'Um.'
Debblypharq drew deeply on his drink, belched, stood up too fast
and wondered if this was what it was like when you got drunk.
'I might as well go back to the school then.'
In the rest of the pub, no heads turned as Debblypharq bumped into
countless (And brainless) people on his way to one of the nine doors.
Seeing a wizard talk to himself was a common sight ('It was something they
did to them once they crossed through the main gates' was one explanation
the townsfolk used.) and to see a wizard talk to himself and stumble into
hatstands and stone walls muttering apologies wasn't that far out of the
ordinary. (Wizards Big Night Out was on a Wednesday night, when each
wizard, providing he still had one eyebrow, was allowed to leave the
confines of his room and visit the town for any reason he wished. And on a
Wednesday night, a wizard who wasn't drunk was a damn good actor.)
Debblypharq left 'The Dog Engaged' and headed home. (Even though
his home was miles away over vast plains and mountains covered in mist.)
In the Grand Hall inside the school, heads turned, bobbed and
looked around hastily. It was assembley. And you were in serious trouble
if you didn't turn up for assembley. One seat was empty.
'HAS ANYBODY SEEN DEBBLYPHARP SINCE YESTERDAY?', boomed the Grand Wizard.
'Its Debblypharq actually Grand Wizard'
'Yes, yes, whatever. WELL? HAS ANYBODY SEEN HIM?'
A single hand was raised.
'YES WELL?'
'Er. Grand Wizard, I saw him....GO THROUGH THE GATES WITHOUT A PASS!'
A murmour passed around the hall (It beats a note hands down)
'Go through the gates eh? Humm..'
The Grand Hall fell silent, it knew when creaking woodwork was not needed
and restrained itself from letting out an almighty whine of tearing wood.
'ASSEMBLEY DISMISSED.'
For once in his life (Or was it twice?) the Grand Wizard looked perplexed.
Then he looked worried.
Debblypharq was making great progress in heading home. He had
already passed Forhamenlakets outer limits (Recognised by a small round
stone place on a large mound of turf) and he was currently around four
oxen droppings from Laket. For some unknown reason he was jogging and as a
consequence was extremely out of breath. He decided it would be best if he
stopped for a short while to rest. As he stopped and looked around for a
suitable Resting Hollow (All knife etchings reserved.) he heard a loud
booming sound and then he saw the floor, that had always seemed so solid,
leap up at him like a mad mule.
(Resting Hollows were always placed on the main roads every few oxen
droppings, just in case you ever felt the need for anything at all.)
When he came to he discovered a note beside him, it was obviously
from whoever had bashed him on the head. It read as such : 'Sorry about
the bash old bean, a bit of a mistake there. Dreadfully sorry, forever in
your debt etc. Stick Stick. P.S. Heres something which I think rather
prefers you to me.'
This seemed a little odd to Debblypharq until he looked down at what lay
beside him. As he looked down his eyes grew wide. It was the Grand Wizards
staff. The staff seemed very pleased to see him, it was sliding around in
the mud, shooting off random spells in random directions, much to the
annoyance of a cow who had just been turned into a rather good likeness of
a cow that had just been zapped by a random spell.
Debblypharq scooped up the staff, stood up too fast, wondered if
this was what it was like if you were drunk and headed off in the
direction of Forhamenlaket.
'YOU'VE FOUND IT? WHERE, WHEN, HOW, WHO?' boomed the Grand Wizard
(His mother had allways told him 'To be heard one must boom', he stuck to
this to the letter.)
'Er. Just beside Resting Hollow Albafaf, about three hours ago, I got
whacked over the head, Stick Stick.'
'What?'
'Somebody called Stick Stick whacked me over the head by mistake and gave
me the staff as it seemed to like me more than it did him.'
'Oh. Stick Stick? What type of a name is Stick Stick?'
'I don't know Sir, but he's awfully kind.'
'But he's just whacked you over the head!'
'Yes, but he gave me something by means of an apology.'
'I give in on you Debblypharg..'
'Debblypharq.'
'Yes, yes, whatever, where was I?'
'Giving in on me Sir'
'Yes, I give in on you. But I'll grant you another term. But only if you
learn your spells, and only if you ask for a pass when you next take it
into your thick skull to go through the gates. Agreed?'
'Oh yes Sir, Thank you Sir, may your camels reek of Chopsauce'
'What? OH LEAVE ME IN PEACE DEBBLYPAHRG.'
'Debblypharq.'
'LEAVE!'
Debblypharq bowed his head, walked into the hallway and walked straight
into Chief Marauder (The schools long standing bully)
He started to whimper..
OI READ HERE NOW! (So I added a NOW, big deal)
What all that has to do with the game is this :
Debblypharq (The Third) lost the staff in a rather foolish bet. He wagered
that he could beat Madame Champigfarm, the local PLOP champion.
He didn't. And as a conseqence Madame Champigfarm claimed the staff as her
prize. Then, after the novelty of owning a wizards staff had worn off, she
threw it out of her chariots window. (For Madame Champigfarm was on her
first PLOP tour.)
The game rules for PLOP take a little explaining. So bear with me for this
bit. After all 'Rules, we have rules around here.'
A game consists of a grid and two players. One of these can be the
computer. And the computer can be one of FOUR (YES! FOUR! GO OUT AND TELL
YOUR FRIENDS!), the computer can be one of four different players. Each
with a slight difference in their playing tactics.
The gird is made up from what could be called tiles, but what I will call
SLOTS. (Just to make life a little harder!)
Each slot can hold a certain amount of 'something' before it plops. When I
say plops, you could substitute the word 'explodes' and it would still
read strange.
When a slot explodes a certain amount of that 'something' is passed into
certain other slots. The certain slots are on the compass points N, S, E
and W, or Up, Down, Left and Right of the slot that just plopped. (Are we
getting lost yet?)
The amount a slot can hold can be found by looking at the slot itself.
Each slot has a hole, or depression (It got dumped the other week by a
long standing girlfriend, it needs cheering up). When you cannot see this
hole or depression anymore that means : Put one more 'something' on their
and its gonna go. Or in laymans terms, it will plop.
If we are still hanging on to some sanity, I will press on.
Depending on what colour the 'something' was, the ones that get the extra
little bit of 'something' change to that colour. So, if you are green and
one of yours plops, the ones as explained above turn to green too.
The game is over when the board only has 'somethings' of one colour only.
Even if there are still free sqaures, the game is over. Lifes a bitch and
then you die.
The 'somethings' could be anything. At the time of writing this they are
balls and pyramids. They could easily be aliens, gas jars, small packets
of M and M's!
This game has two options. Normal or Tournament.
Normal really should read 'Practice' but it does allow you to play a
friend (Be warned, fights can break out!) And it has quite a few options.
This function allows you to pit your wits against one of the four
artificial players, and allows you to practice your skills.
Tournament is a right bitch. In this option, the boards are NOT square as
you get in the Normal option. Also, they have other new tiles. Like a tile
that can hold one 'something' before plopping.
As the grids are not square they are a lot harder to win on.
In tournament your score isn't reset each time you get a new grid. Instead
your score is kept the same. This means you have to get a damn big score
to beat the computer and get your name in the highscore slot. I shall tell
you now that the computer plays a VERY defensive game and really cranks up
the score when it wants to.
You get extra functions too, such as the ability to change the slot
colours, enter passwords (So you can avoid the levels you have already
completed (Your score will be ZERO though)). This is the price you pay for
selecting tournament.
Its advisable to select 'tournament' when you feel up to it.
Now I will go through a few of the more complex options.
The ENTIRE game is mouse driven. And BOTH the mouse buttons are used (So
NO clicking with wild abandon)
The menu system is simple. The option that is waving left and right is the
option you are currently on. Click the mouse and you've chosen that
option.
If you are in the main game click the right mouse button and another menu
pops up.
SAVE!
This saves your current game in 'normal' mode. The fileselector uses the
mouse. Click on the row of 8 smileys to get a new directory listing. Click
on the row of 8 smileys to enter a new filename.
LOAD!
This loads back in a game. So you can complete it, or torture your
opponent.
It gives you the option of watching ALL (Every single one) of the previous
moves, or whether you don't want to. In which case you just get the sound
effects.
RESIZE GRID
So you don't want to play on a 10x10 grid? Click on this and you can
resize the grid using the mouse.
Try messing around with the menu system. The only options that can
possibly do any damage to the disk in the drive are SAVE and the NEW
HIGHSCORE (Which is only activated if you actually got one)
If an error happens (God forbid!) an error screen will appear and it will
wait for you to click the mouse. Depending on what error it was, it will
either quit or try to resume. If it resumes but doesn't allow you to do
anything then sorry, its my fault. Re-boot.
I know there shouldn't be errors but there are, this game was coded in
about two weeks after all.
This game is shareware. If you like it would you PLEASE send the wallet
busting amount of FIVE POUNDS STERLING! to :
Digi Tallis
c/o Jon Lewis
30 Wembley Park Ave
Ings Road
Hull
East Yorkshire
HU8 OND
England
Make cheques payable to Mr. J. M. Hall.
(Sorry no credit card stuff!)
In return you will get something nice. It could be a new game, a new
tournamet, a level creator or something else. The only way you will find
out is if you write!
Even if you don't like the game, write to us and tell us why, we reply to
all mail we get.
Digi Tallis are a demo crew that turned to games because one of the main
programmers got very bored one night.
(Thats the reason why I'm writing this doc file (I get bored easily!))
We consist of
Jon Lewis (Coder, graphics, anything else that isn't musical)
Simon Hall (Coder, music, graphics)
Enough twaddle, get playing the game. And write to us.
Cheers for reading this.
C'ya.
Ormolu of Digi Tallis
(Jon "One too many Terry Pratchet novels" Lewis )
A few handy hints ?
A) Move the mouse when its playing a sample. Its dead funny.
B) If you get bored, try watching the demo.
C) If you have been playing the game with one palette for a while, don't
change! The new one will look foul.
D) Er. Play the game.
Additions to documentation
--------------------------
This game is written in STOS, and STOS has the lovely habit of not working
correctly on some peoples machines. If this is the case, then it will need
to be 'fixed'. In order to 'fix' it, you must first unpack PLOP.PRG to its
original unpacked form and run a STOS FIXER program on it. There are a
number of fixers around, but I recommend the Generic STOS Fixer written by
Anthony Jacques. For those on-line, it can be downloaded from
http://www.cs.man.ac.uk/~jacquesa/
and for the rest, it should be on an STFormat coverdisk pretty soon..
have fun..
()rm..
[ back to the prod ]