How did you leave the nest?

category: offtopic [glöplog]
I've seen several cases recently (not just ZanaGB) where a person is unhappy and the solution would be to move away from their parents. In most cases the person is way over 18, but has some incentives to stay with their parents, mostly the lack of income. Still, humans aren't built to live with their parents forever, and tensions rise.

So I figured a thread where people tell their experiences of how they successfully left the nest might be helpful for some.

I've talked about this with a bunch of people; Surprisingly many moved to another city to study (to a govt backed apartment or one paid by their parents), got a job and/or a girl/boyfriend, and things progressed naturally from there.

In Israel, people go through their long military service and more often than not end up getting married while doing so.

For myself, I got a job while still living with my parents, and then got a job abroad for a while. When I got back, I moved in with my parents for a while, and my brother nudged me to move away. This was pretty easy considering I had been working for about three years at that point (and about one year abroad), so I had no financial problems nor any illusions about the fact that everything costs money =).

I moved in with one friend of mine for a few months, but we got evicted since the owners of the apartment decided to sell instead of continuing to rent it (they could not have asked for better tenants; we weren't party animals by any definition of the term, and always paid our rent in time), at which point I moved to live alone. (..which didn't last for long, but that's already outside the scope of this thread).

So.. how did you leave the nest?
added on the 2014-04-14 07:01:57 by sol_hsa sol_hsa
I was going to be a smart arse and do a piece about a baby bird but...

By the time I was 16 my mum and I had discovered that despite the fact that we did actually love each other as mother and son we really didn't like each other very much as people. To the extent that we found it increasingly hard to live together, so I moved out into a share house with my then partner and a couple of mates. My mum's condition was that she would continue to pay my school fees as long as I kept going to school and getting passing grades. Apart from that I paid my own way - rent, food and bills. We all worked - I worked at a supermarket outside of school hours and on weekends on the loading dock and often did nightfill to supplement my income. We also all enjoyed our *ahem* "extracurricular chemicals" and the lifestyle that accompanied the taking of them - what can I say it was the 90's!
School was so-so. I passed but didn't have the marks to get into the university course I had applied for so I went back to do my matriculation again. BIG MISTAKE!
Second time round I just couldn't be bothered. I eventually did my "Mature Age Entrance Exam" for uni a few years later and was astounded at how easy it was to get into uni like that compared with half-killing myself over a year at school.

So to stick to the remit of the question - I worked hard, studied moderately hard and "played" harder than most but managed to end up where I *mostly* wanted to be.

I'm interested to see what Adok's story will be.
Oh, wait...
added on the 2014-04-14 08:09:17 by ringofyre ringofyre
by ringofyre:
I was going to be a smart arse and do a piece about a baby bird but...
I must be too, I almost did similar.

by ringofyre:
I'm interested to see what Adok's story will be.
Oh, wait...
Really? Regardless of what you think of him or his actions I think this topic has been beat to death. On top of that, if you really didn't want him to come and comment on things, why mention him at all?
It's in my nature. I can't help but stir the pot. But yes you are right.
Glad to see you noticed the wall of text in between those 2 quotes. :P
added on the 2014-04-14 08:23:16 by ringofyre ringofyre
Surprisingly many moved to another city to study (to a govt backed apartment or one paid by their parents), got a job and/or a girl/boyfriend, and things progressed naturally from there.

Pretty much that; went to study on parents' dime, then had a particularly shit period when I was broke and they couldn't help, and then decided this sucks and just randomly picked off a flyer off the wall in the university building and got my first job. Pretty much have been self-sufficient since.
added on the 2014-04-14 10:05:16 by Gargaj Gargaj
mostly the lack of income

That is THE reason. Money keeps everyone in the world unhappy, unfree and so on.
added on the 2014-04-14 10:19:05 by Gertrude Gertrude
Plus insane laws of course...
added on the 2014-04-14 10:20:08 by Gertrude Gertrude
added on the 2014-04-14 10:25:40 by havamal havamal
I'm pretty surprised that someone under 30 is interested in the demo scene, let alone under 20. ;)
added on the 2014-04-14 18:40:46 by yzi yzi
i was kidnapped by a dingo and then raised by a pack of dingos for about 15 years. they called me GRRRR and taught me how to catch hamsters. then we ran out of hamsters, so they send me to a mcdonalds to buy food. i by accident ordered a happy meal and the little present inside made me long for civilization and hence i left the pack and got a job as toilet brush salesman. one day, i rang the door of Ringo Starr, i joked that Ringo sounds a lot like dingo and he bought 500 toilet brushes on the spot. i got a promotion to supervise people selling toilet brushes and it feels like being the leader of a pack. i still have that job now, but sometimes i still long for howling to the moon, though!
added on the 2014-04-14 18:48:55 by havamal havamal
So how did you end up in Kewlers? I hear that's a tough gig.
added on the 2014-04-14 18:57:49 by Preacher Preacher
I'm actually not sure what people aged below 20 are interested in nowadays. I have no clue.
added on the 2014-04-14 19:07:12 by Adok Adok
no Maali, you were raised by a bunch of Pandas,
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added on the 2014-04-14 19:44:38 by Forcer Forcer
I left my parents' house when I was about 19 and I was doing civil service. My service location (where I had a very small room inside the location) was about 45 km from my parents' house. After civil service I went to study, about 315 km from my parent's. In fact there is no exciting story to tell, actually it was out of question for me and my parents that I leave my parents' house after school.
added on the 2014-04-14 20:03:33 by rac rac
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added on the 2014-04-14 20:32:33 by mermaid mermaid
Got a job, moved out. Not much to tell :-)
added on the 2014-04-14 20:46:55 by xeron xeron
preacher, funny you ask!

in 2001 i was hanging around with a few dingos and i found a computer with 3dsmax on it in a dumpster. after 3 evenings of autodidactic and intensive training i manage to model a cube. after doing yet another cube the next evening, i felt confident enough to send a letter to the main coder of Traction, who i think is a very famous finnish coder and someone who is quite into cubes. anyway, i wrote in that letter:

"dear famous finnish coder, i am a graphics artist who is very competent at doing cubes in 3dsmax. if you are interested, please respond to the address on the back -love, hugs and kisses maali!"

then i googled for the address of this "famous finnish coder" and wrote it on the envelope. i was also hoping for stamps back, because sending a letter to finland isnt cheap! anyway, 12 years later, i got a reply letter from some dude named kimmo. i thought that was the famous finnish coder from Traction's real name, so i corresponded with him and gave him several cubes to work with. Until recently, where i discovered this famous finnish coder was not in Traction, but in Kewlers. Furious, i wrote a letter that i want my cubes back, but i did not get a response yet. I think i will have to wait another 12 years before my cubes can be removed from the Kewlers demos!

i hope this answers your question!
added on the 2014-04-14 21:26:56 by havamal havamal
At first I felt an overwhelming urge to bash my nose against this wall enclosing me. Eventually I found myself with my siblings in this shallow dish made of twigs and our parents spittle. I was hungry so I started screaming "FOOD FOOD FOOD FOOD FOOD FOOD FOOD FOOD FOOD FOOD FOOD FOOD FOOD FOOD FOOD FOOD FOOD FOOD FOOD FOOD FOOD FOOD FOOD FOOD FOOD FOOD FOOD FOOD FOOD FOOD FOOD FOOD!" until my mum returned to the house and vomited some half digested insects into mine and my siblings mouths. I am slightly bigger than them so I made sure I bullied them so I got more food.

This seemed to go on for months until eventually grew to the point where I no longer liked wearing the soft, warm clothes that my parents had provided - I wanted something harder and with a edge. So I got some new threads. It was around this time that both mum & dad started screeching at us to "GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT!" and altho the vomit-feeds grew more and more scarce they seemed to have a lot more time for canoodling and going on about eggs - whatever the fuck they are?
Eventually the day came, mum literally pushed me out the front door. I fell bad, man. But then things changed and everything started to come good. That was until I met this big fella who called himself "Cat". I told him I thought that was a bit of a pussy name for a big bloke like him. I don't think he liked that very mu
added on the 2014-04-15 08:17:23 by ringofyre ringofyre
i was chased by bees, then couldnt find the way back home again.
added on the 2014-04-15 11:11:47 by havamal havamal
Well, thanks for ruining a good idea. Someone mark this thread as residue, please.
added on the 2014-04-15 11:17:21 by sol_hsa sol_hsa
Sorry sol, I did give my honest response earlier but since I'm such a bitch to peer pressure I thought I'd best give my best rendition.

Nice thought for a thread tho (no sarcasm at all intended).
added on the 2014-04-15 11:25:32 by ringofyre ringofyre
I guess my tale is kinda normal for a nerdy type. I hope this helps someone in some way.

I got a coding job straight out of college (my family, or I couldn't have afforded Uni back then).. and I'm still working as a coder in where the company I joined has evolved 20 years later.

Part way through that process I looked at my life, where I wanted to be and decided what I wanted to do with it.

Firstly, I learned to drive. This gave me a lot of freedom, and control.
Secondly, I saved. Regularly a little chunk every month.

I was feeling 'cramped' at my parents, and with a decent income I was buying more bits of technology, CDs, DVDs etc Saving was to go towards a house deposit. And I didn't have to pay my parents much as they knew I was saving. I didn't want to rent as it put the goal of owning I didn't like the idea of a flat/apartment but that also coincided with the fast increase in house prices over here. Had I been doing it 3 years early, I'd have been able to buy a house easily. As it was, I had a sizeable chunk of cash building, but not quite enough for a small house.

As I got older my social life changed, at some point I began internet dating. After a handful of dates, one night stands and short relationships I met my girlfriend/partner. She's only a year younger than me, She'd gone to uni, been married and bought a home earlier in her life. That all went tits up and she'd moved back to home to her parents, then out on her own once she had a permanent job.

She'd been able to take enough from her marriage to buy a small house on her own. For a couple years I spent all weekends and a night in the week there. (So half the week I was living with her).

Once we decided to move in together we took most of what I had saved up, and matched it with what she would get out of her house combined to get us nice house together.

So that's how I 'escaped' the nest. I took control of my life, and made non-complicated moves to make things happen.
added on the 2014-04-15 13:26:02 by Canopy Canopy
sol_hsa and Canopy, your stories were quite interesting, thanks for explaining!

Maali's story was as moving as cubes can be. :)
added on the 2014-04-15 14:01:36 by Korguiq Korguiq
Guess my way was pretty common. Reached 18, went to uni to study, picked a city far from home so I could escape :) (Not that there was any need to escape, but at that age i wanted some freedom).

Well, that went kind of badly, I hated the course (electronics, which I liked, but there was way too much physics and chemistry which I hated). So I dropped out after 1 year, and faced a pretty easy choice: get a job or move back home. So I got a job, rented a flat, worked for some years. Eventually found a woman, got married, bought a house, and studied that degree i missed in my spare hours :)
added on the 2014-04-15 14:43:23 by psonice psonice