How about a joke anyone?
category: residue [glöplog]
- Mum, what's that?
- A horse.
- Where?
- A horse.
- Where?
a mouse and an elephant go swimming. while changing clothes the elephant discovers he actually forgot to bring his swimmingpants. On which the mouse says 'no worries, you can borrow my spare one!'
How do you get a one armed Pollock out of a tree?
Wave to him.
Wave to him.
Where were the first doughnuts fried?
In Grease
In Grease
lol, robocock
i wonder wtf these are for!
i wonder wtf these are for!
You're supposed to drink it.
If a guy masturbates with peanut butter, What is he actually doing?
That's sick.
Little girl: Papa, what does pervert mean?
Her father: Shut up and keep sucking.
Her father: Shut up and keep sucking.
I don't smoke, drink nor use cursewords.
Fuck! my cigarette falled in my wiskey!
Fuck! my cigarette falled in my wiskey!
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Here is yer joke:
It was about a month ago when a Dutchman in Amsterdam felt that he needed
to confess, so he went to his Priest.
"Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. During WWll, I hid a Jewish man in
my attic."
"Well," answered the Priest, "That's no a sin."
"But I made him pay me 20 gulden for each week he stayed."
"I admit that wasn't good, but you did it for a good cause."
"Oh thank you Father; that eases my mind. Father, I have one more
question."
"What is it son."
"Do I have to tell him the war is over?"
My favorite Jew-joke:
Rabbi Altmann and his secretary were sitting in a coffeehouse in Berlin in 1935. "Herr Altmann," said his secretary, "I notice you're reading Der Stürmer! I can't understand why. A Nazi libel sheet! Are you some kind of masochist, or, God forbid, a self-hating Jew?"
"On the contrary, Frau Epstein. When I used to read the Jewish papers, all I learned about were pogroms, riots in Palestine, and assimilation in America. But now that I read Der Stürmer, I see so much more: that the Jews control all the banks, that we dominate in the arts, and that we're on the verge of taking over the entire world. You know – it makes me feel a whole lot better!"
Rabbi Altmann and his secretary were sitting in a coffeehouse in Berlin in 1935. "Herr Altmann," said his secretary, "I notice you're reading Der Stürmer! I can't understand why. A Nazi libel sheet! Are you some kind of masochist, or, God forbid, a self-hating Jew?"
"On the contrary, Frau Epstein. When I used to read the Jewish papers, all I learned about were pogroms, riots in Palestine, and assimilation in America. But now that I read Der Stürmer, I see so much more: that the Jews control all the banks, that we dominate in the arts, and that we're on the verge of taking over the entire world. You know – it makes me feel a whole lot better!"
A byte walks into a bar and orders a pint. Bartender asks him "What's wrong?" Byte says "Parity error." Bartender nods and says "Yeah, I thought you looked a bit off."
this joke is better spoken then written, but here it is anyway.
A brunette, a red head and a blonde walk into a bar.
Bartender proceeds to offer them drinks and tells them there is a magic mirror in the bathroom. If you tell a truth while looking at it, you'll be rewarded with a gift.
But tell a lie and "POOF!" you dissapear.
So the brunette goes to the bathroom and says
"I'm very intelligent" and a gift appears.
Then the red head proceeds to the mirror and says
"I'm very beautiful" and also gets a gift.
Then it's the blonde turn. She steps in the bathroom
and faces the mirror and says
"I think..poof!
A brunette, a red head and a blonde walk into a bar.
Bartender proceeds to offer them drinks and tells them there is a magic mirror in the bathroom. If you tell a truth while looking at it, you'll be rewarded with a gift.
But tell a lie and "POOF!" you dissapear.
So the brunette goes to the bathroom and says
"I'm very intelligent" and a gift appears.
Then the red head proceeds to the mirror and says
"I'm very beautiful" and also gets a gift.
Then it's the blonde turn. She steps in the bathroom
and faces the mirror and says
"I think..poof!
If a man masturbates with peanut butter, What is he really doing?
Quote:
I don't smoke, drink nor use cursewords.
Fuck! my cigarette falled in my wiskey!
I don't smoke, drink nor use cursewords.
Damn, I forgot my cigarettes at the liquor store!
A reporter goes to a farm to interview a man that's turned 100 years old.
Reporter: What's the secret of getting old?
The man: Living in a proper fashion, Keeping away from drinking and women.
A woman scream is heard from an adjoining room.
Reporter: What was that?
The man: Oh, it's just my dad that got drunk again and tries to fuck the housemaid.
Reporter: What's the secret of getting old?
The man: Living in a proper fashion, Keeping away from drinking and women.
A woman scream is heard from an adjoining room.
Reporter: What was that?
The man: Oh, it's just my dad that got drunk again and tries to fuck the housemaid.
If I were to beat off using peanut butter I'd be fucking nuts
american beer is like making love in a canoe
- fucking close to water.
- fucking close to water.
bump
The jokes on the first page are too funny
The jokes on the first page are too funny